Glenn Len Daring-Perring: How he got his start.

I’ve been reading a few biographies lately, quite a few on Wikipedia and it strikes me that sometimes they can be a bit ‘samey’, sad or just….faded. Here then, is the biography of Glenn Len Daring-Perring, Australian Celebrity.

According to Wikipedia

Glenn Len Daring-Perring AM (congealed as Draydout Melbernovic Peptic, 20 December 1972) was an Australian TV Celebrity, Celebrity Chef and Media Personality. Having won the Gold Fogie 22 times, he was arguably (by most people who argued with him) the most obnoxious star on Australian Television.

He is best known as the host of “It’s on Tonight”, “The G’Day Show” and for being found behind a skip in the high street without his trousers.

How he got his Start

Glenn started his career as a discarded souffle on King’s Kitchen. On that occasion he didn’t rise and was left on the kitchen counter, until one of the staff found him.

As she was organising a charity event, she grabbed some leftover bread and made the souffle into sandwiches.

Five out of the six of these sandwiches were turned into poo by members of the Builders Labourers Federation, moonlighting as security at the event. However the 6th was taken for lunch, by an office assistant to the studios of ATV-9 Sydney where the strangeness of a souffle sandwich, was noticed by the then Studio Head; Terry Knackers.

Early Television Career and “It’s On Tonight”

In those days, they’d let any old tosser on television, so the souffle sandwich was given its own variety show 7-nights a week on ATV.

It was 5 long years of tedium, as the sandwich did nothing except sit there on the desk of the main set. Under the pressure of the bright studio lights, it eventually congealed into the lovable Song and Dance man, we all know today.

As his popularity grew and now having a head with arms and legs, he started to become a guest on many programs of the day.

The G’Day Show

Eventually he became so popular that he switched to the daytime, wowing his new fans (in their dressing gowns and high on powders), with his ability to not give a damn about what was being presented on television.

There were fights between guests, inappropriate banter and in many ways it set the culture of Australia back about 100 years or more.

The Producer

Glenn parlayed his extensive television experience into becoming one of Australia’s most prolific TV show producers. He and his production company created such memorable hits as:

“Eaten at First Sight” the follow up to “Shark Tank” where contestants with business ideas are suspended over a literal shark tank. If their business ideas were crap, they were dropped into the tank, to learn to write a better business plan. If their idea was any good, they had to marry the investor, who would then try to rip them off for the idea and all their assets; in either a messy divorce, or a hunting accident.

“Name of the Rose” 10 Nuns compete to win the heart of one lucky bachelor. Will he have a rose for them, or will they have to enter the convent for the rest of their natural lives?

“I was a celebrity, but now I need to get a TV Show” Yulia Norwich will do anything for a gig on TV. Come on, even a commercial. She wins marvellous prizes each week by blackmailing various TV executives.

“Crankety Cranks!!!!” 10 ex-senators from obscure political parties compete for fabulous pay rises, by trying to explain their policies, without using the words Un-Australian, Great or Immigration.

As time went on there were more:

“It’s Problematic” Three panels of three boys from top private schools are beaten mercilessly, until they are prepared to try and interpret various twitter posts.

“Rising Damper” A renovation show where it’s all boringly about baking bread. Contestants have to renovate an entire kitchen before the dough has risen.

“Celebrity Hoarders” 10 Celebrities have to explain what they did with all the money, or our High Court Judges help them clean out their stuff.

Finally the controversial game show “Answer my Effing Question!”

Personal Life

It was as a guest on the Aussie show “Knockers”, a situation comedy about selling door-to-door, that he met his wife Penelope. This caused much controversy at the time, that a woman and a culinary dish, should be allowed to wed. This was despite his well documented conversion to ‘Humanity’. Though soon the Intimate Dining Act was signed into law by a kid from the deaf society.

Later Career

Tastes change and after a while the game show world went online, and Glenn found himself in meaner times. Money was tight and he got by with the occasional appearance as the “Old Baddie” in “Murder She Did”, “Flintlock” and “Diagnosis Awful”. All shows so great or cheap that they will continue to be played well into the next millennia.

In fact, Glenn would guest on any show as long as the theme featured a clarinet as the main melodic instrument, (don’t believe me, watch all of these and you’ll see what I mean).

One day as he was appearing as a baddie who ran an old theatre……all of a sudden a smiling cretin almost gave him a heart attack, by coming at him with a huge book. It was the twit from “Is this your Wife?”. A show where the wives of celebrities get to tell the story of their husbands, from their perspective.

It was truly beautiful, as through gritted teeth he endured two hours of reproach and scrutiny, by the Australian public.

By 1996 Glenn had become an industry, earning millions of dollars from lucrative sponsorship deals, licensing arrangements, a signature range of herbs and spices and tell all books.

He made the obligatory awful album of songs, appeared as the camp surprise villain in that recent movie hit (he was CGI’d to be 12) and then gradually faded from view.

I guess that’s what happens as you get older.

Death and Legacy

One last opportunity to win back past glories came to Glenn in the form of a Celebrity Judging gig on the now retooled MustardChef. However disaster struck when one of the contestants mistook him for the mystery ingredient in Judge Nutella’s Dessert Challenge.

It was a fitting end to a stellar career and for those who give a damn, (which is none of us), it was poetic.

He will be remembered, until the next one kicks the bucket.

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